Easy Solution to Middle East Conflict

With tongue planted firmly in cheek, I offer the following quick-fix, simple, easy solution to that persistent problem of war in the Middle East (currently flaring up between Israel and Palestine, for the xx time in xx years/months/weeks).

To solve this pesky problem of constant war between Israel and its neighbors, all you have to do is:

  • make the international news conglomerates accurately report all legitimate stories
  • allow all displaced peoples a homeland and nationhood
  • eliminate racial bigotry on both sides
  • turn the mutual hatred from their mutually exclusive religious doctrines into ecumenical brotherhood and love
  • confiscate their heavy weaponry and bomb-making materials and get them to promise not to make any of their own
  • make them cease all boycotts and embargoes against each other
  • put leaders over them who will root out corruption, religious fundamentalism, and greed, and who will prioritize creating a secular, representative government over all other goals
  • tear down all walls separating them, including historical ethnocentrism, exceptionalism, ancient feuds, contradictory scriptural bragging rights, and the literal concrete, militarized walls
  • promote international trade with all nations, and international alliances with all nations

How hard could that be?